Drunken Prodigy !
by sarah-uchiha90
Summary: Oh no! Our beloved Uchiha genious is drunk! Maybe he's even an alcoholic! Sasuke embarrasses himself in front of everyone, is carried to a cab by a doorman, and other horrific things! Where will this nightmare end! SasuNaru in later chapters. R&R!


**Warnings:** Well, this has a _LOT_ of curse words in it. Particularly one that begins with an f and ends with a k and has got two letters in the middle. So if you can't handle that sort of things, you better not read this. 'Cause Sasuke can get pretty feisty when he's got a hangover.

And oh, if this turns out not to be a one-shot (and that's all decided by public demand, so **review,** people!) it will probably be yaoi in later chapters.  
Well, actually, it is a little yaoi now, KakaIru, but there's like nothing there, it's just the fact that they're a couple...

**Age:** Hm... I can't really say... But maybe somewhere between 19 and 25...?

**Note:** The Osoroshii Neko is not a real pub. I just made it up.

And pub of course being a place where there is a restaurant and a bar combined.

**Beta: **This is actually the first time ever that one of my stories have been beta-read. And it happened to be by my absolute favorite author on That's pretty cool :D Thank you, thank you, thank you StormyMist for beta-reading this! And for being generally awesome!

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"Uh... Yeah, uh. A Vodka Martini." he said doubtingly to the bartender. "Shaken, not stirred..." he added under his breath.

The bartender looked at him as if he were mad, but turned around and started pouring the drink. When he was finished he put an olive on a cocktail-stick and put it in the elegant glass.

He turned to the young man who had ordered the drink and put the glass in front of him.

"That'll be $7." the bartender said. The young man slammed the money on the bar, raised the glass and was just about to drink when the bartender stopped him.

"Hey... Are you really old enough to be drinking?" he asked uncertainly.

The young man sighed and held up his ID.

"Happy?" he said. The bartender nodded, so he once again raised his glass.

He heard someone somewhere in the bar say "Bottoms up!".

"Sure..." he mumbled, and swept the glass in a split second. He shuddered.

"Disgusting. Another one, please." he added out loud.

The bartender clicked his tounge scornfully (not so loud that the man could hear him though), but refilled the empty glass.

-

He was woken up by being thrown on the ground.

"Whaddayadoin'-" he slurred.

"Hey, go sleep somewhere else, buddy, we're closing up now." a rough voice said to him.

"Yeah, yeah..." he yelled and tried to wave a dismissive hand. He failed miserably. With strong effort he heaved himself up and walked over to a cab. He almost fell a couple of times, but finally he reached the cab and sat in the backseat. He slurred out the address to the man, and instantly fell asleep.

-

He felt something poke him. Hard.

"Hey mister! Mister!"

"Wha-?" he mumbled.

"Mister! This is where you get off!"

"Uh... Oh yeah..."

He gave the man his money and heaved himself out of the car. He stumbled over to his apartment and fumbled with the keys. He finally got the right key, unlocked the door and stepped inside. When he had taken off his shoes, he fell asleep right on the doormat.

-

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

Uchiha Sasuke slowly opened his eyes.

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

"Fuck." he mumbled.

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

"DAMARE!" he yelled.

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

"Just go away!" he whined.

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

"MY HEAD!" he cried in agony.

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

He dragged himself up and over to the phone.

"M?" he answered.

"KONNICHIWA SASUKE-KUN!" he heard Sakura's shrill voice.

'Fuck, not her...' "Hn." he replied.

"Where are you?" she asked. "You were supposed to be here about twenty minutes ago! Is something wrong?"

"I can't make it." he said curtly and hang up the phone.

He collapsed on the couch, and instantly fell asleep again.

-

_RRRRRING, RRRRRING!_

"AAAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT NOW! I AM SO GOING TO KILL THE FUCKING BASTARD WHO DARES TO FUCKING RING MY FUCKING DOOR-FUCKING-BELL!" he yelled while getting up.

_RRRRRING, RRR-_

He yanked open the door.

"WHAT!" he shouted.

There stood Kakashi.

"Uh... Well..." he said while scratching his neck hesitantly.

Sasuke didn't weaken at the sight of his former sensei.

"Well..." he repeated. "Sakura was quite worried about you, so I thought I'd go see if you were okay."

"SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE HER SO SERIOUSLY ALL THE TIME!" he yelled at his old sensei, who just raised his eyebrow (or at least it appeared so to Sasuke).

"Well, to tell you the truth I was a little worried about you too. Iruka said he saw you at The Osoroshii Neko yesterday. What were you doing there?" he asked questioningly.

"WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE! WHY THE FUCK SHOULDN'T I BE THERE! I

CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" he shouted.

"Just because you're old enough to drink now doesn't mean that you have to drink-" he said.

"WELL, MAYBE I FUCKING WANTED TO!" he yelled impatiently. "AND WHAT WAS YOUR BELOVED IRUKA DOING THERE ANYWAY, HUH!"

Kakashi blushed. It was a well known fact to Konoha that Iruka had drinking problems, but no-one mentioned it out of respect for Kakashi.

He turned around and walked away. Sasuke watched him go.

'He can blame himself' he thought grumpily. 'Going interfering with other people's lives!'

He went inside and closed the door. He spent the day watching TV and sleeping.

When the sun set he headed once again to The Osoroshii Neko. He repeated yesterdays ritual and woke up about 4 in the afternoon the next day.

He did the same thing for a couple of weeks. Slept during the day and drank during the night. One day, just before he was heading to the pub, he noticed that the red light on the phone was blinking.

"I've got messages?" he asked himself as he dawdled over to the phone and pressed the button next to the red light.

The first one was from Naruto.

"_Hey teme, you were supposed to meet today at Ichiraku's! Call me when you hear this!"_

The second one was from Sakura.

"_Sasuke-kun! Are you there? Pick up!"_

The third one was also from Sakura.

"_Please pick up, Sasuke-kun! I don't know why you're mad, so just please tell me! Kakashi just told me you were in a bad mood but please pick up! Or call me when you hear this!"_

The fourth was from Neji.

"_Hey. I just wanted to say that it's my birthday and Sakura's throwing me some kind of dinner or something. Let me know if you wanna come."_

_BEEEEEP._

"Hn." he said out loud. "I can't make it. I have other plans for tonight."

He smiled to himself at his own boring joke, that wasn't even a real joke.

He wasted time until the sun set, and immediately headed for The Osoroshii Neko. Just as he ordered his third vodka martini for the night a large crowd came in through the door.

"And so," he heard a familiar voice say, "I said to him: 'The Hokage of course!'"

The crowd laughed.

Sasuke heard how an employee asked if they had reserved tables.

"Yes of course, under 'Hyuuga'! It's Neji-kun birthday!" the familiar voice said.

"Banzai!" the crowd shouted.

Sasuke snapped out of his daze. He carefully turned his head to the crowd.

There they were. Naruto (who had spoken), Neji, Sakura, Chouji, Shikamaru, Lee, Tenten, Shino, Kiba and Hinata.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck! They can't see me like this!' he thought desperately. He grabbed the glass and swept it. That was not a very smart thing to do.

'Where can I hide-... Hmm... This bar is so comfy. Look over there... My friends... Wait a minute... They're not my friends! They're just assholes, that's what they are! I'm gonna go tell them a thing or two!'

He staggered over to the crowd. They were all chatting with each other, but stopped at the sight of Sasuke.

"You guys..." he slurred, "Are worfless... No-one is as good as me..." He held up a finger in the air.

"I'm from the ... the great ... Uchiblabla clan... We're the ... best, didn't ya hear? We're your supper- superiors... Obey me..."

He fell in a heap on the floor.

An uncomfortable silence lay over the whole company. Fortunately no-one else in the pub had overheard them. Everyone stared in shock at the passed out Sasuke on the floor.

For nearly five minutes no-one dared to speak. Finally Naruto broke the silence.

"Uh... Should we... uh... carry him out?" he said uncomfortably.

One of the doormen had noticed the fainted man. He heard Naruto's question.

"It's okay, I'll put him in a cab. I usually do that." he said in his deep voice while he hoisted Sasuke over his shoulder.

"You- you mean he comes here often?" Neji said.

"Oh yeah, he comes here every night. He's actually been here every night for the past ... three weeks I think." the doorman said.

"Um... Does he always get this drunk?" Chouji asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. But I think he had even a little less than usual today. I guess he passed out before he could drink any more..."

They followed the doorman with their eyes as he stepped outside, Sasuke still dangling over his shoulder.

"Did anyone know?" Hinata said quietly.

Everyone shook their heads.

"First Iruka-sensei, then Sasuke.." Naruto said sadly.

"Do you think that he began to drink because Iruka did?" Sakura asked.

"No, Iruka has been drinking a long time, and Sasuke ain't the type who would mourn that much over another person." Shikamaru said.

"I guess you're right..." Sakura said. "But why? Why?"

They all stood in silence for a minute, all of them repeating Sakura's question in their heads.

_Why?_

_-_

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A/N: So... What did you think? _PLEASE_ review, people, 'cause I can't know what I've done right and wrong if you don't tell me. Do you think I should continue it? Well... Once again, much love to StormyMist for beta-ing this:D


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